Even by my standards, I have to admit yesterday's posting was a bit of a downer (although in fairness, it should be noted that no less an authority than Robert Samuelson of the Washington Post commented pretty much along the same lines, albeit in a bit more detail - yes, I'm taking 100% full credit for this & the line for congratulations forms to the right, please...), so in an effort to keep the collective chin up for today's readers (both of you out there), I thought I'd step back from the ledge and comment on the humorous (?) impacts of unemployment on one's life. To wit:
1. You stop drinking Andrew Murray and develop a profound appreciation for the fine wines of Charles Shaw (aka, "Two Buck Chuck").
2. When your TV dies and you have to replace it with your brother-in-law's old set, you may think your viewing problems are solved...until you realize the remote doesn't work and you must PHYSICALLY GET UP FROM THE COUCH to change channels. (For a guy, this qualifies as one of Dante's levels of purgatory...)
3. That vow you took after college to never again drink Budweiser and to only consume finer, respectable ales and lagers? Yeah, about that...
4. Speaking of college dieting, say hello to your old friend, Raman noodles! ("It's been a long time, hasn't it? How have you been?")
5. It's truly amazing how your Ipod never needed replacing or had any problems until you started watching your income like a hawk...
6. Speaking of appliances, that warranty on the microwave went out a few months back and - well, whaddya know? It's almost like the unit knew it was time to give up the ghost...
7. Good Side: More time for exercising and running! Bad side: "Well, this heatwave makes jogging dangerous...and the couch looks pretty comfortable right about now...and don't we have some pudding pops leftover in the freezer?"
8. Mac-n-cheese can be made into a gourmet meal with some chopped onions, a leftover jalapeno, and some crouton toppings. (And it goes wonderfully with the aforementioned Charles Shaw white, by the way...)
9. It IS possible to survive without cable TV and Netflix - however, the DVD selection at the local library is depressingly highbrow in terms of its nothing-but-PBS-selections. ("Oh, look! Ken Burns had another 36-hour documentary we never saw...")
10. You are ALWAYS awake because while you're technically without a job, you're somehow keeping Starbucks in the black with all the coffee you're guzzling as you network and meet with people every other day...
Got any other suggestions? Post 'em in the comments below.
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