Friday Funnies

It's often been said we all use humor as a defense mechanism.  "If we don't laugh, we'll cry," has long-since become a mantra for anyone struggling with difficult circumstances.  To that end, we reserve Fridays for humor postings (and let's just say after this week, well, they're needed).  Enjoy!

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"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people He gives it to."

- Dorothy Parker

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An optimist is someone who feels this is the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist knows it.

- Anonymous

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Two men are hunting and one accidentally shoots the other.  Frantically, his buddy pulls him to the pickup truck and drives into town.  Arriving at the hospital, the paramedic begins his examination.  "Is he gonna live?" asks his friend.  "Hard to say," says the paramedic. "His chances would be better if you hadn't gutted him first..."

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Fact:  The importance of a meeting is inversely proportional to the number of people attending it.

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And finally, from the it's-only-funny-because-it's-probably-already-happened-to-somebody file:

A man waiting for his flight feels an urgent call of nature.  Rushing to the men's room, he enters the nearest stall and sits down.  Almost immediately, he hears a voice from the next stall.  "Do you have any papers?" The man shifts uncomfortably and pretends he did not hear.  "Papers!  I need papers!" the voice intones again.  The man looks at the roll left in his stall.  "I can share a few squares," he says meekly.  "No, I need papers!  Now!" the voice shouts.  "Well, okay, hang on a sec..." the man says.  "Hold on," the voice from the other stall says. "I gotta hang up, some jerk in the next stall is talking to me..."