Nobody likes being stalked. No, I'm not talking about the psychos that people take out restraining orders against, I'm talking about those ex's who just can't let go after the relationship ends. You remember. Things don't work out for whatever reason, but soon you find yourself hesitating to answer the phone or feel that prickly sense of dread whenever you're supposed to get together with mutual friends. Look, you find yourself thinking, can't you just take a hint so we can both move on?
And when you start to feel as though you're that stalker when you're pursuing a job with a company, you can't help but wonder if it's time to move on - but at the same time, you can't bring yourself to give up all hope until you know for sure that the door is closed. You - yes, you - become that crazy ex who can't give up.
Don't believe me? I started interviewing with a company back in July of this year. By the end of this week, it will be October. I've had not two or three interviews with them but five, and to make matters all the more frustrating, I was told on the phone two weeks ago that they were "in the process of moving forward with some kind of offer." Since then? Silence.
So, what did I do? Well, I wouldn't be a proactive job seeker if I didn't reach out to them to let them know I'm still interested, right? Sure! So, I dropped them a couple of e-mails to "reaffirm my interest" and to "confirm that I'm very interested in the position we discussed and would be happy to move forward." Since then? Well, let's just say the communication highway's been seeing its fair share of tumbleweeds.
Which brings me right back to my stalker simile. As an interested job seeker who wants to be seen as proactive and who perseveres, I'm obligated on one hand to make sure I don't let more than a week or two go by without following up to check in, see how things are going, find out if there is anything else I can forward or provide, etc.
But on the other hand, I can't help but feel like that crazy ex who just can't take a hint after something doesn't work out. At what point do I stop looking like an interested party and start coming across as somebody who's simply too desperate to take a hint? Surely, if the company was interested in hiring me as an employee, they probably would have moved forward with some sort of offer after two or three interviews - let alone four or five - but now with more than 3-4 weeks since my last interview and phone conversation, do I keep pressing ahead or realize that this is in fact a lost cause? (At what point will this particular boulder wind up rolling back down the hill?)
Yes, these are the issues that confront the modern job seeker. But having nothing really left to lose when you're already unemployed, I find myself doing what I think everyone does in these situations - I make notes on my calendar, and if no word is heard by a certain time, I suck it up, check my pride at the door, and make some kind of polite effort to follow up. You never know when the job is simply playing hard to get.
But yeah, you do feel a bit strange continuing the pursuit.
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