How to Turn Off a Prospective Employee, Part III

Well, after Parts I and II, it was probably inevitable that people would start mentioning their own experiences, so I guess much like "The Godfather," Part III was inevitable (for better or worse).  Read on...

Drag the process out as long as possible.  Two or three interviews is never enough when you can schedule four or five over the telephone with any manager you can think of.  Who cares if this turns into two or three months of back and forth while the candidate waits for that fourth or fifth manager to come back from a two week vacation?  Their stress is not your problem!  (Especially if you don't really have an opening at this point to begin with and are only trying to keep your "finger on the pulse" right now!  But hey, don't tell THEM that!)  Better still -

Insist on a clearance even if the candidate tells you up front that s/he doesn't have one.  Admitting to a professional weakness area is obviously difficult enough, but you don't want to bruise anyone's sensitivities during those initial phone interviews.  Tell them it doesn't matter, that you have plenty of non-classified positions to offer, then reject him or her anyway after the face-to-face for not having the clearance that (snaps fingers) gosh, you really did need after all!  If that's not good enough, why, you can always -

Forget you scheduled that phone interview in the first place.  No, candidates don't mind that they spent several hours preparing to talk with you and cleared their schedules for the entire day only to have you tell your assistant or the recruiter that you need to reschedule when the candidate is on hold to talk with you that very moment.  They'll be forgiving - after all, they're the ones who need the job, so why not bask in the uneven playing field?   

What's that?  They're still trying to interview with you?  Wow.  Some folks just don't give up!  You may need to bring in the heavy guns.  Hey, here's a thought:

Be as condescending and unprofessional as possible.  When a candidate has to be let down about one position but indicates that she would still be willing to consider another job that actually might fit her background better - and even goes to the trouble of mentioning the position and why it would fit her better -show her your sensitive side by telling her point blank: "I'm sorry, we can't do anything about that.  We have a business to run."  Rest assured the candidate will speak lovingly about your corporate culture to everyone s/he meets at future networking events after polite remarks such as these!

And if you absolutely must do a face-to-face interview, be as brusque as possible.  This works especially well in case interviews.  Walk in and tell the candidate that even though you were scheduled for 45 minutes, you can only stay for 10.  Spell out the case in a rapid-fire sequence and make no eye contact. (Better still, watch the clock during the entire time.)  When the candidate asks thoughtful questions to engage you, wave your hand dismissively and say, "whatever" in response to every inquiry.  And to make sure you end on just that right note, forget to bring your own business cards and make absolutely no effort to shake hands when you leave.  That's the spirit!

Yes, if you follow these simple steps along with the others mentioned earlier, you'll be well on your way to doing the Marquis de Sade proud in your interpersonal skills.  Just cross your fingers that when you get laid off you're lucky enough not to come across anyone like yourself - or better still, any candidates you interviewed like this at one time...