Long Term Unemployment Leads to Global Warming!

It's official:  Unemployment leads to climate change. 

How do I know this?  Because I have undeniable proof.  In fact, it came to me completely unsolicited with last Friday's mail. 

A number of months ago, I applied to two organizations - one was a college, the other a professional society.  Although neither led to my landing a job, my application apparently DID get me on - wait for it - their respective mailing lists!  Since I never had any contact with either organization prior to my applications, I can only conclude that both envelopes - which naturally contained the obligatory marketing collateral - came to me because of my application for employment.

In other words, simply by applying for work, I somehow wound up on these organizations' mailing lists and am now being targeted by their marketing departments. 

Now, here's where it gets frightening.  Over the past year, I've probably applied to well over four or five hundred different organizations.  (Note:  This is an estimation, not a scientific qualification.  Suffice it to say no matter how many that actual number really is, it feels like far more.)  Now, assuming only 10% of those companies follow this same practice and put me on their mailing lists, I can expect between 40 and 50 more promotional mailings to begin clogging my mailbox over the next year or so.  What this spells out can probably be best summarized with the following proof:

1.  Applying to jobs gets you put on more promotional mailing lists.
2.  More mailing lists mean more junk mail
3.  Junk mail consumes paper (envelopes, brochures, correspondence, etc.)
4.  Paper comes from trees.
5.  Trees combat climate change by consuming carbon dioxide
6.  More mail = more paper = more trees = more carbon dioxide in the atmosphere
7.  More carbon dioxide = more greenhouse gases = global warming

Cutting out steps 2-6 and you get the following:

Applying for jobs = global warming

So, leaving aside the sinister possibility that some organizations simply advertise positions not because they seek to hire but simply because they find it an inexpensive way to expand their outreach lists, this means that as long as corporations refuse to hire qualified workers, they are indirectly contributing to climate change. 

Think about that for your next interview.